That was one of the first questions presented in our class. It means does the proposal set up the marriage in some way? They say it's the foundation of what the marriage will be like. I had to chuckle because my brother just got engaged.......through skype! In China! Who does that? :) If the location of the proposal mattered with the outcome of the marriage then my bro should just throw in the towel. I agree that there should be a proposal but as for the details of it and whether that be a core foundation for the marriage is not settling to me. I think the foundation of the marriage comes from the courtship. It's all about the process.
We also described in class how when you're first married you set up the roles, rules, and expectations. How do you deal with money? How do you deal with conflict? My insights came a little more from how to deal with conflict. There are 10 areas of significant incompatibilities with expectations and roles, etc that lead to divorce. And there are 10 areas of significant incompatibilities with expectations and roles, etc that lead to successful marriage. So what's the difference? It's how they dealt with it.
I love using scriptures as examples of this and to learn from. I'm glad we went over it in class. We looked over Doctrine and Covenants 121:43 and went into depth of the meaning of some of the words according to the 1828 dictionary.
aReproving betimes with bsharpness, when cmoved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of dlove toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;'
Betimes' means seasonally or in it's correct season and before it's too late. 'Sharpness' is with surgical precision. It's not the kind of sharpness we think of. 'Reproving' means correcting or find fault. We also went to what the word edifying means. It's the Latin word ediphus which means build an upward direction.
It's kinda interesting when we think that contention is not of the Spirit but yet we always feel the best time to discuss of our irritations are when we are angry. I think this will create more problems...Have you ever knelt in prayer to have the Holy Ghost with you before you discuss an issue calmly? I need to try this more often. I sometimes say things that I'm not thinking because of the heat of the moment and I'm just a wee bit frustrated (like for example last night during the BYU game and some "macho" guy comments about how bad BYU was doing and...yeah let's not talk it) :) Now can't you see an issue that is directly towards me?? :)
First of all, you have dad's true blue blood in you! hahaha! You crack me up
ReplyDeleteSecond, I agree that proposal doesn't set the foundation of a marriage. If this was the case alot more people would be throwing in the towel.
I love the scripture you used and how you explained it. I had never seen that scripture in that way before. It's so true that 'how we deal with it' makes the difference. I have found most of my irritations from a spouse or friend is from mis communication. If we get too upset before we can understand the mis communication we will never see that maybe it was actually our fault