Parenting: Touching the Hearts of Our Youth

I've felt like I've learned a lot more this week as I have prepared more for class discussions. The topic was on parenting and especially parenting with teens. The purposes of parenting is to protect and prepare children to survive and thrive in society. And eternally to help them become like Heavenly Father. There are 4 character traits that we need as parents and children: courage, cooperation, responsibility, and respect. There are three types of parenting styles: permissive which is freedom without limits, autocratic which is limits without freedom, and active parenting which is freedom within limits. I learned a lot from the videos that had the many examples of different styles of parenting. One of them the mother was wondering how her son was doing and how he was worried about some things in high school. What we noticed that the mother did was she related to her own experiences, she didn't lecture, she validated his feelings, she was completely focused on him and not on other tasks like laundry. All of this will develop love and mutual respect between the parent and teenager.

Here's a great video from Elder Hales' talk on touching the hearts of the youth. Hope you enjoy!

I'm so glad when Dad comes home

I think we underestimate the power and the effect of fathers. I've known a lot of people who have not had a father in their life and it's been been really hard and effective their teenage years considerably. They need the stability and the effect will go along way. For me, I love my Dad and I have a lot of great memories of him. I remember sitting on his lap every Saturday during a BYU football game and enjoying it together. I grew up loving football because of it and it's been something that we do together still today. Another thing I remember is I was so excited to have him come home so when I knew he was on his way I would make a stance and when he came through the door I would run and jump into his arms. It was the best feeling to get his whisker kisses and hug him real tight. You just can't substitute that kind of feeling for anything.

Here is a video from the Church about fathers.

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&vgnextoid=bd163ca6e9aa3210VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&channelId=bd163ca6e9aa3210VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&sourceId=5b2ab0333ee92210VgnVCM100000176f620a____

Can you hear me now?........Good.

For so long we hear the root to all marriage problems come from lack of communication but after taking a marriage class and studying communication this week it's not that people lack on communication but the way they interpret it and how we portray it. Communication ranges from so many areas that it's hard to pick up the silent cues. Just from a wink to a eyes narrowing can express a variety of what we're feeling and thinking. Usually non verbal is the most effective. Our body language speaks louder than words.

My favorite part of this week was learning about counseling with our councils. I remember in my house when there was a family council I knew it meant serious business and I secretly loved them. I guess I was always interested in things like that. I remember my Dad presided and even at an early age my parents included us in decision making. That made an impact on me on I was viewed in the family as having a role to contribute.

I loved learning how the Brethern counsel together. I've heard Elder Bednar say that in one meeting Elder Oaks had this idea and presented it and the Brethern pulverise it. And Elder Oaks took it graciously and thanked the Brethern for his opinion. To me that would take a lot of humility to think you had this great idea and then to have it destroyed in a way by your peers.

It's interesting that they get at the temple early to chat with each other about their families and such. They sing hymns (I Need Thee Every Hour is the most frequent sung) and then they pray. After they discuss then they close with a prayer and have chocolate or pie! Now that it is a God sent plan for any counsel meeting :) I just had a meeting with my directors for service activities and I was thinking how much better it would have been with chocolate :)

Overall I hope to take counsel from the Brethern on how to effectually counsel our leaders but most importantly our families. These are the principles governed by God and they are the use for our benefit.

Partaking of the bitter cup without becoming bitter

That is probably one of my favorite sayings from Elder Neal A. Maxwell. He quotes that so often in his talks. But in dealing with coping and crisis that is truly how it is. We have to learn to partake of the bitterness without becoming bitter for that is how Christ did it.

It's how we respond to tragedy that builds or destroys our character. In our class we learned about the ABC model where A is the actual event, B is the behavioral response, and C is the cognition or how the family defines the stress depending on how they responded to it. There are too many examples to share but since my sister Meredith is one of the few that reads this I will share an example of how their family dealt with a stressful situation (don't you feel proud Mere that you're on my blog :). They got to Arizona not too long ago when their car got stolen and the people who stole it tried to set it on fire. When Meredith told her husband Bryan after he came home from a long day of medical school he said nonchalantly "well that sucks." Haha! To read more go to their blog post about it! But what a way to deal with a crisis-with humor :) It reminds me of something I saw about a town destroyed by fire and many houses were burned to the ground. On one of the lawns of the house there was a sign that said "finally-termite free."

But there are also tragedies that takes years to recover. I know that situations in our family right now that there our problems increase even when the blessings still flow. It's hard to put words how hard it has been for some of them. Sometimes we're in phases where we managed them as they come or we say that is the hardest thing our family has gone through. And some of the time we say that because of this crisis our family is better because of it and we've actually grown closer together.

One example that I overheard at work was a husband and wife had 10 children together. Three months after their last child was born, the mother passed away. The husband said "God I still believe in you but really? Do you really need her on the other side of the veil rather than on earth?" It wasn't out of anger but more of trying to understand. Years later when he related this story he looked at one of his sons as they were hometeaching and thought, "my kids would not be where they are today without that experience." To me, the mother died to save her kids in the gospel.

Of course the greatest Healer in all of this is Jesus Christ and because of His life and death He doesn't overwhelm us but helps us overcome the world. Here's a great video about it.

The grass is greener....

On the side you water. This is the same for marital fidelity. You can't be watering some old boyfriend's grass at the same time. It just doesn't work. You stick to your side with your spouse. I love what Pres. Monson said, "Choose your love. Love your choice." I especially love how he uses the words "fiercely loyal" to your spouse once your married. Something funny that Bro. Williams brought up yet true about the word intimate is basically saying in-to-my-mate.

The side you water is not the side of your origin of family. I remember a girl in my marriage class saying it was so hard after she got married to tell everything to her spouse and not to her mom or her girl friends who she was really close to. I used to hate that my friends changed and moved on with their lives once they got married and we didn't hang out as much and now I'm like that's the way it should be!

With regards to fidelity, it's even a problem in the Church and the sad thing is I've seen it happening and how it ended. You just can't take chances and there has to be specific boundaries with you and your spouse of what you're going to do to stay true to each other. I really like what someone brought up about how this relates to fraud in accounting. He said that there was an opportunity, an incentive, and then rationalization. With the increase spread of technology it's so become harder for members to maintain fidelity and easy for them to "rekindle" past relationships, especially through social networking like facebook. Not to mention the damaging effects of pornography. It was also interesting in my Doctrine and Covenants class that we were talking about the same thing about the scripture of cleaving unto thy wife and none else. This is not only to a person but to any other activity or distraction that would pull you away from your spouse. Bro. Baron told of a quote he heard from Elder Eyring at the time in 1994 where he said, "right now you can step into the river of wickedness and quickly come out but the time will come very soon where you it will be difficult to step into that same river and not be washed away." (It was something to that affect). What was interesting is that the internet was really launching in 1995 and we can see the enormous it has on good and evil.

Ok here is something that would apply to me only probably but I love period dramas and their plots are amazing but sometimes I secretly you watch them because of the attractive men (do you not?!) Thankfully I'm not into twilight but I never realized that I guess this series is destroying marriages like crazy and I'm not sure all of the reasons but sad to think that it was written by an LDS woman...anyway the reason I brought up period dramas and oh so handsome men is I guess from my class standpoint this could also be a form of infidelity because it's like if the husband said, "we're going to watch this great movie with Angelina Jolie because she's hot." yeah that wouldn't go well with the wife. So is the same with women and our lovely Mr. Darcy? I mean how could you not watch this guy in North and South (go ahead, take a look...wait! not if you're married don't look ;)

Another great video to watch put on by the Church.
http://lds.org/pages/mormon-messages-gallery?lang=eng&query=watch+your+step#watch-your-step

What are your thoughts on all of this?

Does the proposal matter?

That was one of the first questions presented in our class. It means does the proposal set up the marriage in some way? They say it's the foundation of what the marriage will be like. I had to chuckle because my brother just got engaged.......through skype! In China! Who does that? :) If the location of the proposal mattered with the outcome of the marriage then my bro should just throw in the towel. I agree that there should be a proposal but as for the details of it and whether that be a core foundation for the marriage is not settling to me. I think the foundation of the marriage comes from the courtship. It's all about the process.

We also described in class how when you're first married you set up the roles, rules, and expectations. How do you deal with money? How do you deal with conflict? My insights came a little more from how to deal with conflict. There are 10 areas of significant incompatibilities with expectations and roles, etc that lead to divorce. And there are 10 areas of significant incompatibilities with expectations and roles, etc that lead to successful marriage. So what's the difference? It's how they dealt with it.

I love using scriptures as examples of this and to learn from. I'm glad we went over it in class. We looked over Doctrine and Covenants 121:43 and went into depth of the meaning of some of the words according to the 1828 dictionary.

^aReproving betimes with ^bsharpness, when ^cmoved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of ^dlove toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;'

Betimes' means seasonally or in it's correct season and before it's too late. 'Sharpness' is with surgical precision. It's not the kind of sharpness we think of. 'Reproving' means correcting or find fault. We also went to what the word edifying means. It's the Latin word ediphus which means build an upward direction.

It's kinda interesting when we think that contention is not of the Spirit but yet we always feel the best time to discuss of our irritations are when we are angry. I think this will create more problems...Have you ever knelt in prayer to have the Holy Ghost with you before you discuss an issue calmly? I need to try this more often. I sometimes say things that I'm not thinking because of the heat of the moment and I'm just a wee bit frustrated (like for example last night during the BYU game and some "macho" guy comments about how bad BYU was doing and...yeah let's not talk it) :) Now can't you see an issue that is directly towards me?? :)

The stuff we talk about a lot in the Church (especially to us youngin's)

Yep, the word is dating.

I think in the last two weeks I've heard this mention in almost every talk that I've listened to on campus in classroom, devotional, forum, and stake conference setting. But I'm so grateful for it. I feel like I'm learning new things every time but also solidifying things that I'm familiar with. In class we talked about how we are attracted to people that are similar to us in likes, education, proximity, and background.

We talked about how we date is to see how the other fulfills marriage roles. For example, the rule of thumb about a date according to Elder Oaks is that it's planned, paid for, and paired off. We correlated this to the Proclamation where it states that men's role is to provide, preside, and protect. We can line these 6 P's and we really do see how dating let's us see the other fulfill their role. And us as women should nurture his capacity to fulfill his responsibilities.

About the same time that I'm learning about marriage and dating in Family Relations I'm learning about what makes a good marriage partner according to psychologist Alfred Adler in my personality class. Three things for a marriage partner that is essential is that the person can obtain and maintain friendship, learns the ability to work and is interested in it, and devote themselves to the other person. To me that is amazing and very true. What was also neat is my professor shared a story of when he was trying to make a decision about who he was to marry. He was attending BYU at the time and Hugh Nibley was one of his professors. He knew him pretty well and came in at times just to chat. One time he asked Bro. Nibley if he and his wife shared the same interest in reading. He told him not a bit and he thinks that his wife reads the most ridiculous things and she thinks he reads the most ridiculous things! (I had to laugh at that part because I was like Hugh Nibley reading ridiculous things?!) Then Bro. Nibley gave some great advice to my teacher: As long as you see the Gospel eye to eye then the rest doesn't matter (or something of that sort). The next part is what I love the best. He said "If you marry a person who's committed to God then you don't need to worry if he/she's committed to you. Your covenant when you marry is really a covenant to God about this person rather than a covenant to the other person.

That reminded in my marriage class last semester where we read Goddard's book "Drawing Heaven into you marriage" (read it!) He said that he finally realized 30 years later what his marriage covenant was all about. It was covenanting to the Lord that he would be the Lord's partner in comforting Nancy (his wife), loving Nancy, and eventually saving Nancy because that is the Lord's work and glory.

Anyway I've learned so much and even though I have little experience in dating I really have no worries about it. I just keep doing the right things and being the right person and I will eventually get to that point in the temple where I can covenant with God.

As for now, I'll go read a Hugh Nibley book.

If so? Then what?

That is the question that Pres. Packer said everyone should ask themselves after we learn a new concept. We have been learning this week about gender roles. First, what I can say about this is that I'm so grateful that there are gender roles and that it's divinely appointed and we have always been the gender that we are. 

In the Proclamation to the World it says "ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

I like that is the Proclamation to the WORLD not just to the Church. 

Yesterday we were talking about same gender attraction and most of the time it has to do because of misinformed information of gender roles. First we have to stop labeling the person as "gay" if he likes to do art. Or if he's more creative then his other guy peers. Beginning with that can go a a long way.  

We need to teach how to helps kids know about feminine and masculine roles. It's one of these topics that I thought I would never have to learn for my future family but with how our children are being brought up in "enemy territory" then it's something that we have to know and help our children understand. Some things we came up with to encourage heterosexuality we can:

-teach the roles and promises of the priesthood to boys 

-Live the roles whether in priesthood responsibility or in the home. Be the example.

-Demonstrate a healthy marriage 

-accepting of interests, find strengths

-encourage healthy same gender friendships

-help prevent sexual abuse

-Don't label!

-LOVE them

My family culture

In class we talked about how culture is an integrated knowledge of belief and behavior. It's the shared attitudes, values, goals, and practice.

Whenever I think about culture it reminds me of last semester in my Marriage class where we did genograms. It was a description of three generations and the trend between temple marriages, civil marriages, divorces, cohabitation, and so forth. It was funny to bring into class a three foot butcher paper of my family line on both sides. The most amazing thing is that out of all the 75 grandkids there are 45 married and just about everyone got married in the temple and are still married. That is the same on my Mom's side. It's incredible though that they are still married. In class lots of people were discussing that they grew up not knowing if any marriage could really work because of their experiences. It made me appreciate more about my family legacy and culture. We honored families so much love and the gospel that we even pledge to our Grandpa that we would live worthy to take the sacrament, go on missions, and get married in the temple. This legacy and culture has made me greatly appreciate what I have and worthy passing down.

(so I had a whole lot more but when I tried to post it erased all of it and I'm too tired to put up the rest. Sorry but if you're interested in reading some good stuff read Elder Maxwell's talk on The Precious Promise. sooo good :)

Establishing a legacy of righteousness

I was really intrigued in class this week about the scripture Doctrine and Covenants 93:39 about how the wicked one cometh to take away light and truth through disobedience...and traditions of their fathers.

Bro. Williams talked about traditions are inherit traits passed down from one generation to the next. Every time I hear the phrase traditions of their fathers I always think of the Book of Mormon and how generation after generation there were those that fell away because of unbelief and who taught their children to hate the Nephites. I'm proud of those group of kids who decided to leave Amulon's group and join the people of Alma. They are making a turning point in their lives that will effect their posterity.

I think of Nephi who took the time to study out his father's words so he might know if they were true. 1 Nephi 2:16 is I believe Nephi's turning point in his life. Every decision he makes after that is because of that experience. He made a choice and the path of his posterity's life followed. Laman and Lemuel also made a choice and their posterity followed that.

But then again, I love turning points in lives and where the traditions of the fathers are corrected and suddenly someone steps up to the plate and says to these traditions, "No more." That is why King Lamoni and King Lamoni's father's stories are one of my favorites. What a change and transformation they went through as a result thousands were converted and peace was restored. Not only that but they taught their children and those children were the valiant stripling warriors.

To go along with this, just a quick personal note. I want to establish my own legacy of righteousness. It begins today even though I do not have a family of my own yet, what I do now will effect how I teach them and the kind of example I want to be. Part of the reason why I write in my journal is for my own sake to see the Lord's hand in my life that day but also for my posterity's sake that they will know that their mother, grandmother, great-grandmother knew the truth and lived it.

This is my tradition.

What matters most

My friend, who is an amazing Mom of three cute kids, asked me one day in class: "How did your Mom and Dad raise 9 kids and all of them are still active in the Church?" I wish I could have answered better.
How does someone raise kids in the Gospel hoping that they'll stay true?

All I could say is they did the things that we've been counseled to do over and over again: prayer, scripture study, family home evening, and I would add also testimony bearing often (and not just in formal setting).
Another thing I would add is counsel from Pres. Benson to have individual interviews with each parent. Some of my favorite memories have been opening up to my Mom and Dad about my life, school, friends, etc. I felt a closer connection with them. I can still remember the stories they told of their life and what an impact that has made on my life.

Out of all the research and the countless studies on families, isn't there something that we could turn to that doesn't change? That's why we have the Proclamation. Set in stone by the Lord through His prophets.  If we can anchor our families to this, we can do this. Everything we do in families if faith based.

I love what President Monson said in this video: "Never let a problem be more important than a person to be loved."

Also a great talk from Elder Ballard entitled "What matters most is what lasts longest". Enjoy! :)

And the house which I'm about to build shall be wonderful...

That title is taken from 2 Chronicles 2:9

I just wanted to put my study of 1 Nephi 16-18 and the relation it has to the family. I came up with it about a year ago. It was probably the coolest study/project I ever did :) You're not expected to read it because it's pretty lengthy and I know we don't have all the time in the world to read but if you do, you'll know why my blog title is The Ship to the Promised Land. Enjoy!

The Lord has repeatedly counseled that if we will keep His commandments we shall prosper in the land (Mosiah 2:22). On other occasions in the scriptures when He commands a people to leave their lands He says that “inasmuch as you shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land” (1 Nephi 17:13). In many cases it shall be a “choice above all other lands” (Ether 2:15). The question is “how do we get there?” “What is a promised land?” In my recent study of the Book of Mormon and in particularly 1 Nephi chapter 17, I related the experience of Nephi building his ship to get to the promised lands as us building our eternal families towards exaltation. We can only obtain it as a family just as Elder Russell M. Nelson put it: “Salvation is an individual matter, exaltation is a family matter” (“Salvation and Exaltation.” April 2008). In 1 Nephi 17 and 18 I also learned how to help us to become an eternal family and the timbers and tools we must build together to shape our ship so the Lord can work in us and bring us to the promised land.

First, the Lord requires that we must leave our lands for another. The scripture “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31). This is our first act of faith-leaving our former lands and establishing a new one. Nephi takes one of the Ishmael daughters to wife because it “fulfilled all the commandments of the Lord which had been given unto him. And also, I Nephi, had been blessed of the Lord exceedingly” (1 Nephi 16:8). Nephi was blessed exceedingly with a righteous woman. “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies…the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…she will do him good…she stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy…she openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness…her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her” (Proverbs 31:10, 11, 12, 19, 26, 28). Because they had fulfilled this commandment of marriage, the Lord provided a guide on their first part of their journey: a Liahona that worked according to their faith (16:28).

Nephi says “we did travel and wade through much affliction in the wilderness; and our women did bear children in the wilderness” (1 Nephi 17:1). Nephi and his wife knew that the next commandment after marriage was multiply and replenish the earth. It was the first commandment that was given to Adam and Eve. I can tell from this scripture that Nephi and his wife knew that the Lord would help them if they fulfilled His commandment and have children, even while in the wilderness and in affliction. In our day it’s like having children even when finances are tough, when the husband or wife is still going through school, and when it seems that there is no way to provide for children and for themselves. Bearing and rearing children is a faith based work. But the Lord always keeps His promises for those who keep His commandments. For “so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us,” said Nephi, “that if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness” (17:2, 3).

Eight years later Nephi is commanded of the Lord to go up to the mountain. We refer to the mountain as the temple, a place of revelation. The Lord commands Nephi to build a ship, after the manner which [He] shall show unto [him] (17:7-8). I’m not sure if Nephi knew what a ship was or what it looked like. All he knew was that because it was a commandment of the Lord, he would do it. He didn’t complain. All he did was ask "where can I find tools to build the ship?" (17:9) It’s similar to the brother of Jared’s experience of building the barges for the Lord, after chastening him, said: “Go to work and build…barges. They did build barges… according to the instructions of the Lord” (Ether 2:16). After reading 1 Nephi 18:1 I learned that Nephi and his family did work timbers and built it with the tools they had. The important thing was the “Lord did show them from time to time” to work the timbers for they did not build the ship after the manner of men but after the manner of the Lord (18:1-2). Our goal is that we’re building our families after the manner of the Lord. He has given us a clear path for us to follow to keep our families together and to have them for eternity. It is through personal revelation like Nephi did when he went to the mount to “pray oft” and the Lord “showed unto [him] great things” (18:3). I find this applicable in our day when a father and/or mother is struggling to be the best parents they can be. Or it’s when they know their son or daughter is falling down a path that will lead them to misery, they plead with the Lord to show them how to have faith in His timing and how to learn to be better as parents and individuals. We can have enough faith to say “if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship?" (17:51) The Lord has also revealed His plan for the families through the words of living prophets. Following the prophet in the latter-days will be one of the critical things that will save us and our families.

Timbers are the foundation of the ship. It’s the framework for building the ship. “Let the house be builded, the place where they offered sacrifices, and they let the foundations thereof be strongly laid” (Ezra 6:23). According to this scripture, in my opinion, one of the timbers is celestial marriage, a marriage that is only performed in God’s Holy Temples. To build an eternal family the strongest foundation to start is a marriage where covenants and sacrifices are made and kept to their spouse and to the Lord. Temples are another timber that is interconnected with celestial marriage. Without the binding covenants made in the temple, family relationships cannot be “perpetuated beyond the grave” (Proclamation to the World). But the greatest timber that we should build our lives and our families on is the atonement of Jesus Christ. His atonement allows families to be eternal and it will shape the ship in many ways. Because of the atonement our families can get to the promised land. Without Christ, we cannot get there with our own strength. The Lord said, “After ye have arrived in the promised land (we can get there because of Him), ye shall know that I, the Lord, am God” (1 Nephi 17:14).

Tools are principles that we do as individuals and as families. Tools are used for building, shaping, and putting the timbers together. These are some of the tools but there are much more: Faith, repentance, prayer, forgiveness, love, respect, compassion, work, wholesome recreational activities, service, Be Attitudes, study of the Book of Mormon, mighty change of heart, fasting, teaching and learning. We use tools in laying the foundation or timbers. A couple have prepared themselves in their young age with many of these qualities. They will do that which is right so they will one day kneel across an altar to make and keep sacred covenants together in the Holy Temple. They promise that they will live a life of these principles and help their children to develop them as well. For example, Nephi had already showed exceedingly great faith in the Lord because of his "desires to know the mysteries of God...and his heart did soften that [he] did believe all the words by which had been spoken by [his] father" (2:16). He testified of the truthfulness he received when he says, "I will go and do...for I know" (3:7). The greatest thing about these tools used by Nephi and his family was that they were "molten out of the rock" (17:16). Every "tool" mentioned is an attribute that helps us to become like our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. We came to earth for that purpose: so we could be like Him and live with Him someday. Our tools that we live by are molten out of the Rock of our Salvation. "It is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ...that we must build our foundation; which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall" (Helaman 5:12).

The opposite of faith is doubt. Laman and Lemuel had doubts in their brother Nephi because they thought he was a "fool, for he thinketh that he can build a ship; yea, and he also thinketh that he can cross these great waters...for they did not believe that [he] could build a ship; neither did they would they believe that [he] was instructed of the Lord" (17:17-18). Laman and Lemuel also thought he, like Lehi, were led after the "foolish imaginations of his heart" (17:20). In our world today, there are many, even in the Church, who think that marriage is "foolish tradition". There are so many divorces and infidelity between spouses that people don't see the point or need for marriage. This is exactly what Satan wants us to think. He's trying his hardest to ruin the most sacred and powerful institution in the world. Satan knows that only through a family can we have exaltation. He also knows the greatest joys are found in the family and since he wants us to be "miserable like unto himself" (2 Nephi 2:27) he will try anything to steer us away from that happiness.

My favorite part about 1 Nephi 17 is verse 13 the Lord says: "And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led." There are many points to pick out in just this verse. First, they will not remain in darkness but have light through the journey. The brother of Jared also notices the need for light in his barges. “O Lord, in them there is no light; whither shall we steer? O Lord, wilt thou suffer that we shall cross this great water in darkness” (Ether 2:19, 22)? And as we know, the brother of Jared got an answer to his prayer and not only did he have faith that the Lord would touch the stones to bring light, but he had enough faith, according to the Lord, to see the Light of Life himself. We learn the light that Christ is referring to in 1 Nephi 17:13 is His Spirit. It cross references to Doctrine and Covenants 88:66 which reads: “Behold, that which you hear is as the voice of one crying in the wilderness-in the wilderness, because you cannot see him-my voice, because my voice is Spirit; my Spirit is truth; truth abideth and hath no end; and if it be in you it shall abound.” It's the voice of the good shepherd which hath “called after you and is still calling after you” (Alma 5:37). We are led by His Spirit when we do the “tools” of life in building our families and ourselves. Another insight that I picked up from this scripture in 1 Nephi 17:13 is that when we have arrived in the promised land we shall know that it was by the Lord that we were led. In my study I referred to the promised land as exaltation but I also believe promise lands happen throughout our life and are not just an end result of a long journey. These “promised lands” are moments in our life where we look back and we know that the Lord led us there. It’s either that the Lord led us to a university, maybe it was to another person, or it could be a trial in our life or a bad situation we had to get out of. Whatever it is the Lord has always been there and always will be there. It’s usually after we have arrived in the “promised land” that we know that the Lord is God and that he did deliver or support us. Our faith will grow from each experience as we recognize the Lord’s hands in our lives. Your children will see it too and it will sink deep into their hearts and they will remember it. It makes us wonder how many promised lands we will have in our lives? Will we recognize the Lord’s hands in our lives?

This is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He lives and loves us. His plan was for us to return to live with Him again as families. It is only possible through the atonement of Jesus Christ. May we be ready when the Lord says to us: “I command you again to build a house to my name, even in this place, that you may prove yourselves unto me that ye are faithful in all things whatsoever I command you, that I may bless you, and crown you with honor, immortality, and eternal life” (Doctrine and Covenants 124:55). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.